you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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