You're my little dorito
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
