well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
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It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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