turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
