The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
