Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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