Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
