what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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