what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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