Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
