writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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