This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
