I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
