i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
