Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My penis needs a shock collar
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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