I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
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If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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