i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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