actually, I'm a sock model
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
