I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
