If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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