If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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