marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
