i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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