Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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