I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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