Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
