we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
