we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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