C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize