In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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