He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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