watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
