Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she peed on how many people?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
