This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
