I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
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Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse