For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
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Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
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I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.