I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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