one might say we're banned from that church
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
