she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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