I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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