Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
