one might say we're banned from that church
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
