i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
