i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I AM VODKA MAN
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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