I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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