that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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