i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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