I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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