Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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