What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
