i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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