we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
