I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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