we have officially lost it.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
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I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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