oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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