I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He felt like a one man threesome
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
