She's JV to your varsity
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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