I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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