There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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