Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
