we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
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